I could not believe it. Nobody ever expects to be told their life is a lie. But here I am learning that for 17 years I had been lied to. I couldn’t understand why they hadn’t told me sooner. In retrospect it did explain a few things that I had always thought were odd. The obvious one being I look nothing like my parents. My deep blue eyes and chocolate brown shoulder length hair with its kinks and waves were in stark contrast to their mousey blonde, dead straight hair and brown eyes. My height and curvy figure the opposite to their short and narrow bodies. I had asked numerous times why I looked so different and was always told that I took after some distant ancestor. Do genetics work like that? I don’t think so, despite the countless times my parents shoved pictures of cousins and other relatives in front of me to ‘prove’ I was no different. But it wasn’t just that, I knew there was something different about me, about everything. Something didn’t sit right about me. I felt different from everyone, not just my parents. Now I have the key to solving the mystery of my life. I’m adopted.
I sat there staring at them. What do you say to two people who loved and cherished you all your life? Was their love a lie to? Why! My mind wondered over the last 17 years of my life piecing the clues together. On one hand, I wanted to ask them a million questions. Who are my Mother and Father? Why did they adopt me? Where was my family? Why did they wait so long to tell me? On the other hand, my instincts told me I needed space.
“Darling, say something.” I broke away from my train of thought to stare at the woman I thought was my mother. But all I could do was stare. Her chocolate brown eyes filled with tears threating to spill at any moment.
“Poppit, are you ok?” The slightly taller man I thought was my Dad, came towards me, reaching a narrow arm out. I jumped up before he could place its once loving reassurance on my broad shoulders.
“No!” I yelled and ran up the stairs two steps at a time before racing down the upstairs hall to my room. I threw myself onto my bed and screamed into my pillow. WHY! I was too angry to cry so I lay there trying to make sense of everything.
The questions again whirling around in my head. I tried to think back to my earliest memories, but I couldn’t think. Voices filled my mind. It sounded like my mum and dad. I sat up and opened my door, thinking they were just outside but no one was there. I closed the door and retreated back to my bed. I closed my eyes and focused on the voices. I could literally hear them talking downstairs.
“Should I go up and speak to her?” She said through sobs.
“No, we need to give her some space. She needs to come to terms with it on her own.” I heard the scrapping sound of wood on wood. Did he just move a chair? How could I possibly hear them if they were downstairs in the dining room at the other end of the house?
Over the last few months, I had begun to notice my hearing improving, like a lot. I could hear the snide comments about me at school which I quickly learnt to block out. If I was in the dining room which was adjacent to the kitchen, I was able to hear when my parents came home just by the sound of their footsteps on the driveway which was at the other end of the house. I didn’t dear tell anyone. I was already labelled as a freak at school. I didn’t need my parents thinking the same. I focused on the voices again.
“We should have told her sooner.” She cringed through gritted teeth fighting back another wave of tears. I assumed she meant me being adopted and I agreed silently with her.
“You know as well as I do that it was too risky, Mary. We had promised each other to protect her and that’s what we’ve done. We couldn’t risk them knowing.” He sounded angry.
What? Did they kidnap me? Is my real family searching for me? I could hear her hitched breathing turning into violent sobs.
“But what if they find her? What are we going to do!” she cried out.
Now I felt confused. Was I in danger? I desperately wanted to go at ask what they were talking about. But I couldn’t without divulging my hearing ‘powers’.
“Hush Mary. Just relax. We can keep her safe. This was bound to go one way or the other. Could you image her turning and resenting us more for not telling her the truth at all?”
He was pacing now; I could hear his footsteps on the floorboards. I could mentally see him pacing backwards and forwards. She was probably watching him, her lip trembling as the waterfall of tears continued. The conversation was very cryptic, and I struggled to stay with it. I didn’t understand what they were talking about. I was angry and hurt, particularly knowing there was more to my story that they had yet to disclose.
“But Gary.” She cried “She’ll be 18 in a few days!”
“You think I don’t know that!” he yelled. “You think I don’t know what will happen when she turns 18? He paused trying to calm himself down, breathing deeply.
“Wwwhat if she doesn’t want anything to do with us?” her voice was so quiet I strained to listen.
“We’ll just have to see.” He said.
I could hear his footsteps and they got louder as if someone were coming closer. A creak sounded and I knew he was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I concentrated, focusing on his presence. I could hear his heart beating fast and his erratic breathing as he stood there. My eyes flew open. I was shocked, how could I be doing this? The shock of the day finally caught up to me and I lay down on my bed, closing my eyes wishing it would all go away. Slowly, I drifted into a disturbed sleep.
I was in a forest. Darkness surrounded me and I was scared. I ran. I had to run. Where I was running to, I had no idea. What I was running from, I could only guess. I came to a clearing. The moon was full and lit up the soft grass. A sense of being safe washed over me and I walked to the centre of the clearing. From the other side emerged a wolf. Any normal person would have run. But I wasn't normal. The wolf ran to me, I wasn't scared. I smiled as his gate became slower. He paused in front of me and sniffed. We stood with my face touching his, our eyes interlocked. He was perfect. He was my MATE.
