Prologue:
“LET’S BREAK UP.”
It surprised Brandon to hear those three words from his long-time girlfriend. His heart started to pound as he panicked. These past few weeks, he sensed that there was something wrong with her. But he just kept it to himself. He didn’t ask because he thought that his girlfriend was just tired of her work, because of her overloaded schedules. It is his fault for not asking, he should at least gave her sweet cuddles to ease her exhaustion, damn!
“Sara, I don’t know what made you decide on that decision, but please, whatever it is that I’ve done to you, tell me so I can fix it. I love you, Sara, you know that…”
His every word was so gentle, trying not to make his girlfriend more upset. He knows her so well; she tends to sulk and say words that she didn’t mean but at the end of the day, just a simple sweet words from him can make her feel better. But then Sara’s eyes were different now. She seemed determined to end up what’s between them… her expression didn’t change even though Brandon tried to soothe her.
“It wasn’t you. It is me who fell out of love,” Sara replied.
Brandon’s face turned pale, his hands tremble as he started to feel a sharp pain in his chest knowing that his girlfriend didn’t love him anymore. He couldn’t remember doing something that can make her unlove him. He knows he has done his best as her boyfriend. All he thought was that their connection with each other is so strong that he thought she’s his mate. What made her fall out of their love?
“W-why?” he asked, almost stuttering.
“Every day, Brandon. Every fucking day, I am full of guilt that I couldn’t love you anymore. You are so perfect for me. You are so kind that I need to make myself as perfect as you. It is boring that I needed to be with a perfect guy like you. You need a woman that can fulfill your perfection without pretending.”
“Sara, for me you’re perfect–”
“No, I wasn’t!” she exclaimed. “I was just pretending because I don’t want to disappoint you. I feel like I was caged by your perfection, Brandon. I can’t do this anymore. Just let me go.” After those words, she stormed out of his office.
Brandon was left dumbfounded. He couldn’t chase his girlfriend, no scratch that, his now ex-girlfriend. After ten years of relationship, it already ended just because he was fucking perfect. He doesn’t know why his girlfriend thought that he was when, in fact, he wasn’t. That was just their thought, what he wanted them to see.
Broken-hearted, Brandon sat down on his swivel chair, then caught his forehead. He gently massaged his temple. Thinking of what he should do now that his girlfriend left him, he feels like he’s lost. He has planned everything. He already thought of her as his soon to be Luna, his wife until his last breath, but now that she left, what could he possibly do now?
Should he tell her what he did five years ago? Should he just tell her his secret? So she wouldn’t think of him as the almost-perfect guy? Fuck, he wasn’t out of his mind to tell her that! Whether Sara will know or not, she’ll still leave him.
He bit his lower lip and stopped massaging his temple. He started reminiscing about what happened that night, the night that he wanted to forget, and he regretted all his life.
He can still remember her upturned brown eyes, the way she moans, her soft grazes, and even her sweet smell. He would lie if he didn’t like what they did that night. The feeling of her body that warmed him that night still lingers in his memory, but still, it was a mistake and he knows she’s innocent. She’s a virgin and the bloodstain she left on the bedsheet was the evident.
How was she? Did she catch trauma from what he did that night? That’s what Brandon was always thinking every time he remembered it. His conscience was eating him up. Who would think that he’s capable of doing that? Even himself, he didn’t think of it. He didn’t think that raping a woman is his thing… His hands started to tremble; he clenched his chest as he started to get even more nervous.
“I should… find that woman. I need to apologize for what I did to her,” he whispered.
Instead of sulking and thinking of what he would do to convince Sara to get back to him, he stood up and took his phone from his pocket. He dialed a number and pressed the call. Not long after he dialed, Evan, his Beta, answered the call.
“Hey, Alpha! What’s up?”
“Hello, Evan? Do you know an investigator who could help me find someone?” he asked.
Five years ago, he was drugged by his friend at a nightclub… He had a big fight with Sara that made them decide to have a cool-off. That night, he just want to get a drink and forget his heartache, but then it didn’t go well… his asshole friend gave him a sex drugs for godsake!
“I have someone to recommend you, Brandon. Anyway, who’s this person that you want to find?” The man on the other line asked.
“Just… a woman I met five years ago,” he replied.
“A woman? Dude, don’t tell me you’ve cheated on Sara?”
“No!” he denied, even though a one-night stand is a validity of cheating. “Just recommend me to the investigator so we could talk. I badly needed to meet that woman.”
“Well, what is her name?”
Her name… her photo. He unconsciously shut his eyes. “Shit!” he cussed.
“What?”
“I don’t know her name…”
The silliest part of wanting to find someone is the fact that he doesn’t know the person’s name. Now he is sure that there is a low chance of finding that woman.
“Okay then, what about a photo? So I can send it to the investigator in advance,” he suggested.
He started to curse himself for not knowing anything about that woman. What he has right now is just his precious memory, her smell that still lingers on his nose, and his desire of wanting to see her again.
“Hmm, my photographic memory is still clear. I know what she looks like. She has upturned brown eyes, a small nose, and full lips–”
“What the heck, Brandon? How could we possibly find a person that you didn’t even know the name of, you do not even have a photo of? Where did you meet the woman? Did she show up in your dream? The heck! I think you’re just dreaming!”
“J-just…” He couldn’t tell him how he met that woman. At least not now that he just broke up with Sara. “Just give me the investigator’s contact information so I could talk to him…”
“This is suspicious, Brandon. What are you hiding from me?” Damn, he could visualize Evan’s curious face. He knows Evan a lot! Even though he can trust Evan, he has a big mouth that runs when it was just a secret. He couldn’t keep a secret, that’s why he didn’t tell Evan.
Brandon closed his eyes tightly and then sighed. “I will tell you about it next time, okay?”
He will do everything just to see that woman again, even if it will cost him too much money. In that way, he would be able to go back to his old self, no worries… and if possible, he could get a chance of getting to know this woman who never in the past five years left his mind before he sleeps at night.
