It was autumn when the dry leaves touched the ground and the breeze grazed the skin with its cold embrace. The sky darkened earlier in the day while the sun rose later than usual. It was a month of orange and russet, warm drinks and the scent of woods, fire in the furnace or shawl made of wool.
Then, there was that one day when wishes were made before the burning candles and a leftover piece of cake, cut out from the evening party. The smell of melting wax hitting the icing that was so familiar to her but, never been more intimate than the feeling of absence lingering in every birthday.
It tasted sweet - the mess of moss and sponge in her mouth. That was bearable, even though there had been no one to cut or eat it with her since forever long she could remember.
No wishes, congratulations, or litter of torn wrapping paper scattered across the floor for new possessions to be.
Jiang Ru Shi received none of it, but it was okay. It was bearable.
Yet, when the first match was struck, the smell of burning candles brought her back into realization. There was not a single prayer she could think of. Not even empty wishes. Not even for the sake of formality.
It has always been the same every year. Ru Shi sat on the cold floor with her hands in a prayer stance. Turning a year old, her eyes on the glistening fire as her tears melted any wish she wanted to say. In the end, all that came out was a perfunctory greeting.
“Happy Birthday, Jiang Ru Shi.” ...and the fire blown away, carrying with it, the unspoken words.
A smile came to her tear-stricken face when she finally tasted the sweet cream cake. Thus, her birthday every year until she turned seventeen years old.
For those many gone years where her wishes were left unanswered.
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Imperial City, Spring
It was early Spring in the Imperial City, the capital of Country A. Traces of winter remained vivid in the air with a touch of coldness in every breath. Pale lips blowing wisp of white mist. Hands rubbing each other for warmth in the morning. Passersby pulled their thick coats tighter to fight the temperature.
Though it was Spring, nature remained in slumber. Dry branches on trees with no leaves or cherry blossoms in sight, just old brittle twigs lying on the pavement, crushed under the people’s shoes as they strolled about. Some heading for a particular destination while others for morning walk.
While the city remained as it was, peaceful yet busy, the hustle and bustle faded away with the whistle of wind. It did not manage to reach the VIP ward on the fourth story of the First Hospital.
The closed curtain filtered the sunlight, spilling only a small shade of warmth into the gloomy ward. A beeping sound echoed within the room and despite the monotone sound, the atmosphere was stiflingly silent.
Here, without a presence of life nor joy, just a sleeping young girl on the bed, there came a plea. A resounding voice, a desperate cry muffled in silence. A small whisper rang in her head, sadly and tenderly, ebbing in a dreamlike way.
‘If there’s anyone....anyone at all…’
‘...would you please listen?’
‘Listen…’
A heavy sigh broke from the girl’s dry lips. Her dainty finger twitched as Subject 1’s eyes slid open. A drop of tears fell from the corner of her eye. A white ceiling came to her sight along with the voice.
‘Listen.’
A whiff of oxygen with a hint of medical scent breathed into her nostrils continuously. Another drop of tears escaped from her eyes as she wondered dazedly, ‘Who are you?’
S1
Subject 1
knitted her eyebrows and brought her left arm to shield herself from the light. As she covered her eyes, a blurred image of a young girl with ebony hair and a small weak body holding a piece of cake came into her mind.
She couldn’t make out other details but, one thing she was certain of, that small girl was crying. And for some unknown reason, S1 felt her heart wrenched at the same time like a ton of weight crashing down on her chest.
She found it hard to breathe.
Thus, S1 quickly disregarded the image to erase the nagging emotion. She had felt it once when her comrade had fallen in order to protect her. She didn’t want to feel it again. So, the best way was to get rid of it.
“Forget,” she muttered, “Forget it.”
When she opened her eyes again, they were clear of tears and emotions. Thereafter, she calmly scanned her surroundings. There was a slight sting in her head as she thought, ‘Where am I?’
However, the moment S1 saw the medical instruments near her bed and a medical hose connected to her right hand, Ru Shi immediately knew where she was. Her drowsy eyes instantly turned sharp as she hoisted herself up in a state of panic. Even then, her anxiety did not betray her cold emotionless face.
Due to her sudden movement, her joints started to throb but it wasn't enough to bother S1. Such small pain was nothing to a trained soldier like her. Hence, she proceeded to rip off the medical hose and took the oxygen mask off of her.
She glanced around at the overly comfortable ward and knew it had to be a VIP. This fact bothered her even more since there was no way they would treat her luxuriously. Besides, the most questionable thing from the current situation was…
Wasn’t she dead already?
S1 was one hundred percent sure she had died just a moment ago. She saw her comrades had fallen one by one with her own eyes before she too collapsed. Her team had been ambushed and there was no way they could survive from the after explosions anyway.
So, what happened?!
However, before she could think any further, a nurse came into the ward and their gaze clashed midair. The nurse froze by the door as she looked at the conscious Ru Shi before her face broke into a smile the next moment.
“Miss Jiang, you’re awake! Wait a minute, I will call the doctor!” She exclaimed excitedly and turned away from the room.
Subject 1: “!!!”
S1 was instantly alarmed when she heard what the nurse called her. Miss...Jiang…? Who’s Miss Jiang? My name is ‘Subject 1’ or ‘S1’ for short. But, what did she say? Doctor?
At the mention of doctor, S1 became alarmed. Her complexion was already pale to begin with but now it worsened. She did not look good at all. If she had to choose, rather than the laboratory, she would prefer the military barrack a thousand times over.
Despite the constant missions that endangered her life, at least there was still a shred of humanity within the members as well as the sense of freedom, out of the suffocating cage that could only bear white. Not out of purity, but for S1, it was a color that was void of life. The color that imprisoned her. The perfect shade to mask the dirty human nature.
‘Perhaps because I have failed the mission, they label me a liability and that’s why they send me back to the lab?’
S1 clenched her fists. Gritting her teeth, she mustered her strength and rejected this reality. “No! I have to get away!”
They cast her aside but that didn’t mean she would obediently stay. Not this time! Didn’t they train her? Train her to be the perfect soldier, the perfect human being. She would show them now!
So, without dilly-dallying, S1 got out of bed and headed towards the door. She took careful steps as she snuck down the hallways. Her senses remained alert just like when she conducted her mission. However, the sight of this place soon bewildered S1.
It was different - the walls and the signs, even the placement of the rooms. S1 had never encountered this corner in the lab before which was weird because she definitely knew every nook and cranny of the laboratory she used to live in. But, the style of this place didn’t look like the lab at all. In fact, the design of this place looked uncannily old-fashioned.
Her eyebrows scrunched up when she arrived at the foyer where six lifts stood on either side of the wall and a floor-to-ceiling window at the end of the hallway with two staircases in the corner.
S1 was speechless as she saw the design of the lift. Then, she went ahead to look at the outside and sure enough, she saw some people loitering around as well as cars dropping patients in the lobby.
Subject 1: “....”
‘Where the hell am I?!’ S1 screamed inwardly as she stared ludicrously at the vehicles parking outside the building.
‘Those are….cars?!’
But the ones that she was familiar with were a lot more sleek and advanced. These cars before her now, S1 had only encountered those models in a history book before.
“What’s going on?!” she muttered. Anxiety darkened her eyes. Then suddenly, a faint reflection in the glass window caught her off-guard. She froze in wild trepidation. The reflection wasn’t exactly clear, but S1 could slightly make out the unfamiliar contour.
She gasped aloud. “That’s not me.”
Now, S1 was one hundred percent sure she had died as that face did not belong to her. What on earth did those old crooks do to me while I was unconscious?! But then again, am I even in the laboratory?! Where exactly is this??
Panic flashed visibly in her eyes this time. But, she didn’t get to ponder more on this when she suddenly heard a noise from the direction where she had walked out from. She faintly figured out what the commotion was about as she saw the group of people from afar.
They were obviously looking for her.
She drew back out of their vision. Then, she looked around before stumbling upon a map on the wall in between the lifts. In that moment, her eyes glinted intelligently and her lips slowly curved up.
S1 wasn’t sure what was going on in the present. But the priority now was not to get herself caught. Thus, with her incredible memory retention, the young girl memorized the hospital layout and swiftly slipped away towards the staircase.
