Natalie’s POV
I can’t believe it.
If you had asked me a few months ago, I would never have guessed that things could be this bad between Ethan and me.
We were in love, or at least, he was the love of my life.
I still remember every single time he gave me a compliment. I remember the way the lines on his face would soften into gorgeous grins, and how his eyes would light up whenever he saw me.
He was smitten by me. But all that lasted just until we got married.
The last two years have been slow torture for me. Like watching a flower wilt, petal by petal. Like listening to a slow, sad song on repeat.
I see every little change in him.
I see how his eyes don’t light up when he looks at me anymore, and how his voice sounds tired when he talks to me. Even his smiles feel different, they no longer go all the way to his eyes.
It’s like someone took a happy picture of us and scribbled all over it with dark, messy lines.
The man that I married – the one who used to take me on fun dates and make my heart skip beats feels like he’s drifting away from me, turning into someone I don’t quite recognize.
Today, he’s been radio silent. Ignoring all my calls and texts as if I don’t matter to him, and neither does the baby.
I cradle my bulging belly as I try to get comfy on the couch.
The pressure on my bladder has been a lot more lately, and I might have to make another trip to the bathroom very soon.
But for now, I settle back with my legs curled up and my pillow hugged tight. It’s a lot more comfortable to stay like this, but something feels different.
Like a butterfly trapped in my tummy, there’s this soft, fluttery feeling that I’ve never felt before.
It's moving. It’s really moving. My little one.
I have dreamt of this moment ever since the doctor told me it might happen, and I even told Ethan everything about it hoping he’d be excited too.
He didn’t listen though, or maybe he did and just didn’t acknowledge me rambling about it. After all, he never asked me anything relating to the baby.
But still, it hurt.
I guess I’d imagined us sharing this special moment, holding hands, and feeling our baby move for the first time.
I rub my belly in slow circles like I’m trying to soothe my baby and myself at the same time. It feels so real now, knowing my little one is moving and growing inside me.
It’s almost like magic, but it’s a little bit sad that Ethan isn’t here to share it.
He hasn’t touched my belly since my bulge started to show. He hasn’t asked about my doctor’s appointments. And hasn’t even looked at the tiny sonogram snapshots I tucked in his wallet.
I’m not going to give up hope though. Maybe this little life growing inside me will be the glue that brings us back together.
I smile softly, trying to put my worries at the back of my mind as I stroke my tummy, whispering my first words to my baby. “We’re going to be okay. Daddy might be lost right now, but we’ll find our way back together. And then, we’ll have each other.”
Staying at home all the time feels like being trapped in a shrinking box, but it gets even lonelier when Ethan is around. It’s no longer weird. Even when he’s here, it’s like he’s not really here.
I should go outside, get some air, and listen to people talk. It’s good for me and the baby. Ethan won’t be back anytime soon anyway.
I throw on some clothes that still fit over my belly and head for the door, but just as I’m about to head out, my phone rings.
My heart does a little jump and I quickly fish it out of my purse. Is it Ethan? Does he want something? Or is he finally calling to check on the baby?
My smile quickly fades away with disappointment when I read the caller ID. What was I expecting anyway? A Christmas miracle?
“Hello,” I say into the phone, almost hoping that the caller wouldn’t catch my flat tone.
“Hi, Natalie. Are you okay? You sound a bit dull.”
There she goes again today, unable to keep her nosiness to herself.
I roll my eyes. I couldn’t have gotten a nosier neighbor. “Yes, Susan. What do you want?”
“Well… I don’t know if I’m in the right position to tell you this…”
“What is it now Susan?” I cut her off.
I’d like to be done with my evening stroll before my bladder gets filled up again and some chit-chat isn’t going to help matters.
“Okay. Since you want to know. I just saw your husband at a bar with a lady, and it looks like they’re having a moment.”
Her words hit me like a punch in the gut. It’s like the world starts spinning too fast, and I can’t catch my breath. My hands feel clammy, and my eyes go blurry for a second.
“Wait, what? What did you just say?” I ask her, my throat suddenly feeling dry.
“Well, I don’t think I should be telling you this in your present condition, but they are in the bar at Early Night Hotel and it looks like they might be on a date,” she adds. “It’s only fair that you know what’s going on, right? I mean, men can’t just cheat and get away with it all the time…”
Her words are like bombs, blasting away the fragile hope I’ve been clinging to. It feels like a bad dream, but I know it’s real.
I grab my purse and stumble out, my legs fueled by a desperate need to see for myself.
“Taxi! Taxi! I hail, wave and hail until finally, a taxi stops in front of me.
I tumble into the back seat, a string of cold sweat forming on my forehead.
“Would you like me to reduce the temperature on the conditioner ma’am,” the driver asks after a few minutes of driving, breaking me out of my chaotic stream of thought for a moment.
“Ah. It’s fine. Please take me to Early Night Hotel.” I manage to respond amidst my rapid breaths and throbbing heartbeats.
The ride takes longer than ever and by the time we arrive, I have already imagined infinite scenarios where Ethan dumps me and the baby.
I walk towards the bar, and with every hasty step I take, I want to take three deep breaths.
But I can’t afford to stop to catch my breath or calm my racing heart. I have to see whatever Susan claimed to have seen, and I have to see it right now with my eyes.
I clutch my purse tight to my chest as I step into the hotel bar. My ears ring with the deafening music and my eyes scan everywhere for any man that looks like my husband.
Maybe Susan was mistaken. She must have confused him with some other man, I tell myself as I turn around, feeling a bit of relief until I spot a familiar blue jacket in the corner with a woman.
My heart begins to pound faster, and I move a few steps closer, slowly, trying to figure out who it is.
His back is turned against me, and although I can recognize my husband from the back even in my dreams, I try to tell myself that it isn’t him.
But I can’t stay in denial for another minute, not as he leans towards her for a kiss and I see both their faces clear as day.
My phone slips out of my hand and falls to the floor with a thud. It’s like my whole body has gone numb. Tears well up in my eyes, but I don’t even have the energy to cry.
It's Ethan. He is cheating on me. And the woman he is cheating with is – Isadora? My late sister?!!!
